Growing up, my mother was the primary disciplinarian in our family. My dad was gracious and merciful, while my mother was more concerned with truth and justice. My mom believed Proverbs 22:15 was to be taken literally: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.”

So when it came to punishment, it was my mother who gave me most of my spankings. There were not many, but all were memorable.

I vividly recall the last and most severe spanking she ever gave me. I was eight years old, and my five-year-old little brother and I had been told to wash up and change clothes for our Wednesday night church service. Instead, we disobediently began goofing off and jumped up and down on the bed like it was a trampoline.

My mother was outside removing sheets from the clothesline when she spotted our heads bouncing up and down through the upstairs bedroom window. We likely had tested her patience that day already because suddenly, she burst through the bedroom door with a peach-tree switch in hand and bolted into the room like Zorro. It was a very painful experience but an important life lesson about the penalties for disobedience.

I never once doubted my mother’s love for me. Yet I learned that she did not have much patience for foolishness. And it was through her discipline of me that I learned about the reality of God’s ultimate wrath and the importance of our obedience to Him.

There are two lessons modern families can learn from my childhood experience:

1. Be careful not to judge previous generations by modern, worldly standards.  Recently, a progressive, middle-aged woman suggested that she was raised in a “domestically violent home” because her mother spanked her with a paddle several times.

Certainly, physical abuse that causes or risks bodily injury is horribly sinful and never justifiable. Furthermore, knowledge of such abuse should be reported to authorities immediately.  However, while corporal punishment can escalate into physical abuse, the just, reasonable, and infrequent use of corporal discipline can be an effective part of an overall discipline strategy.

It has been said, “A good mother looks into her child’s eyes and sees the future.” Perhaps my mother’s generation was able to see the future better than we do today and carefully carried out Proverbs 23:13-14, which admonishes that non-abusive corporal discipline may be necessary to save a child’s soul.

2. There is no perfect mother, so give your mother some grace.  American writer Jill Churchill wrote, “There is no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one.” Perhaps my mother lost her temper with my little brother and me and spanked us too harshly. Regardless, she was a wonderful mother in a million ways. She often gave me more grace than I deserved. Consequently, I should return grace and forgiveness for the infrequent times when she was not perfect.

Below is a picture of my mother, dad, two older sisters, and me when I was two years old. I always thought my mother was pretty. She had a great smile and a good sense of humor.  She practiced hospitality. Our house was always open to guests. She helped me memorize Scripture and prayed I would become a preacher.

Everyone loved my mom. She was a hard worker and very unselfish. I learned valuable lessons of selflessness through my mother’s example. For instance, I recall when we housed a missionary couple who were back in the U.S. on furlough from Japan for several weeks. Our small home had just one bathroom, and the missionaries stayed in the adjacent bedroom. However, my mother was pregnant with my youngest sister. So, when she experienced morning sickness, she went outside and away from the house because she didn’t want the missionaries to hear her vomit and think they were inconveniencing us.

Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman. The final paragraph depicts my mother, wife, and two daughters-in-law. Indeed, it is a depiction of all Godly mothers:

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate” (Proverbs 31:28-31).

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