I had a wonderful father.  But he wasn’t perfect.  My dad grew up in a non-Christian, very dysfunctional home.  He smoked and gambled when he was a young man. So, naturally, his language wasn’t that of a Christ-follower, and undoubtedly there were other areas of his life that weren’t praiseworthy.

At age 19, Charles Russell met my mother and, before long, became a Christian.  He quickly matured as a believer and eventually became a respected elder in his church.  He fathered six children, and each has remained faithful to the Lord.  Looking back, he did two things right that influenced me positively.

  • He never glamorized his past. He never boasted, “I really lived it up in the world.”  Or even, “I was out there with the worst!”  No, he seldom talked about his past.  He was embarrassed by it, not proud of it.
  • Secondly, he lived such a good life that I knew his commitment to Christ was real. The worst word I ever heard him say was one night when he lost his composure and called a basketball player a “fool.”  I never heard him swear.  I never saw him gamble.  He just let his light shine and became a hero to me because he overcame those habits and broke the cycle of the addictive behavior he had been exposed to.

Charles E. “Chap” Russell 1916-1995

My dad (pictured left) was part of a generation that seldom expressed emotions.  The “Greatest Generation” was often private.  They had a hard time verbalizing how they felt.  Finances, sex, and sometimes even faith were private matters.  That’s just the way it was.  As a result, I don’t recall my dad ever actually saying, “I love you.”  However, I never questioned the fact that he loved me; he expressed it with hugs and attention.  He attended almost all my ball games.  He demonstrated love by waking up at 5:00 a.m. and getting to his workplace by 6:30 a.m. every day for 40 years.

You probably know some things about your dad that were imperfect.  Maybe he wasn’t good at expressing love, or he was a poor manager of money.  Give him some slack.  No one is perfect.  Practice a little of the grace you beg for in your own life.  Focus on his positive traits and be thankful for him.

Maybe your dad had more serious issues.  Perhaps he was physically abusive or a mean-spirited alcoholic.  Don’t use that as an excuse to repeat his mistakes. Instead, learn from them what not to do.  Seek to forgive, and don’t let the root of bitterness grow and defile you.  Refuse to play the victim card, quit moaning about your dysfunctional upbringing, and chart your own new path.  Show the love of Christ by not being overcome with evil but overcoming evil with good.

The prophet Ezekiel wrote, “The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them…” (Ezekiel 18:20).

You’re not going to be held accountable for your parent’s sins. You’re going to be accountable for your own transgressions.  Quit blaming your dad for what ails you.  Maybe he didn’t do everything right, but, truthfully, no one else has either.  Accept your responsibility and make the most of the opportunity God has given you. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Robert C. Russell 1871-1942

My grandfather’s name was Robert Russell (pictured right). My dad obviously loved his father despite his faults and named me after him.  But, truthfully, my grandfather had issues.  He was an alcoholic and a womanizer.  He died at age 72 when he fell off a railroad overpass when walking home.

That doesn’t give me an excuse to emulate him.  But this Father’s Day, I’m especially thankful for my grandfather’s 17th child — a son, Charles E. Russell, who rose above his upbringing, broke the cycle, and established a Godly home.  If “Chap” Russell can do it, you can too.  And with the Godly father I had, I’m without excuse.

 

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