Last week’s blog about the current difficulties at Willow Creek Church in Chicago prompted many interesting responses. A couple suggested I had thrown Bill Hybels under the bus before the final verdict was in, which I really tried not to do. Others responded that I had given Bill Hybels too much credibility because he hadn’t really taught anyone about proper leadership and his seeker-sensitive emphasis had done much harm to the Kingdom of God.

Several were concerned that when I listed the people I sympathized with I didn’t mention the women whose claims of improper advances from Hybels had not been given appropriate credibility by the church’s elders. They suggested those women were the victims who hurt the most, and they should have been foremost on my mind, and they weren’t. That criticism was valid. Although I always look at situations through the lens of how it impacts preachers, it was insensitive of me to omit them, and I apologize for that oversight.

Some of the emails were kind and respectful…others were angry and snarky. I’ve concluded this would be a good time to remind my readers of Colossians 4:6: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

The citizens of this present world use social media to spew out vicious attacks against one another. A few weeks ago Roseanne Barr tweeted a vile, racist comment about Valerie Jarrett and was promptly fired from her ABC sitcom. A day later Comedienne Samantha Bee used a vulgar term to describe Ivanka Trump and was forced to make a public apology by the TNT network that sponsors her show. This past week the news was dominated by reports of hateful exchanges between the President and a former white house staff member who were calling each other vile names.

I’m really tired of all the nastiness, aren’t you? Whatever happened to civility? Basic decency? Common courtesy? Mutual respect? Brotherly kindness? Whatever happened to the golden rule we were taught in kindergarten? “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” I find it all embarrassingly immature especially when it comes from The White House or from those in respected leadership positions.

I’m reminded of an old joke that used to circulate among ministers. A preacher preparing his message for Sunday wrote in the margin of his sermon notes, “Weak point. Shout like mad!” When people resort to vulgarity, name-calling, belittling and crass, crude language it’s an indication they have little confidence in their position. It’s as if they’re saying, “Weak point. Be as mean as possible!”

That kind of crudeness is to be expected from the world where hatred and revenge reign supreme. But it really disappoints me when those who claim to be followers of Christ stoop to similar tactics when they strongly disagree with someone. While most Christians don’t resort to profanity, many angrily opt for unfair accusations, cutting sarcasm, gross exaggerations or condescending remarks designed to wound or humiliate the person with whom they disagree.

Here is a sampling of some ill-natured emails I’ve received over the past two years from those who claim to be followers of Christ. “This is the sorriest bunch of drivel I’ve ever read. With leaders like you, it’s no wonder our churches are in such bad shape.” “You are brainwashing your readers.” “You are abusing your position.” “You have lost your ethics.” “You sound so arrogant.” “Your conclusion is unconscionable.” “You have zero credibility.” “You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You are a hypocrite.” “I’ll never read another thing you print.” “You have blasphemed the Holy Spirit.” “That was a bunch of garbage!”

Having been the recipient of nasty-grams my entire fifty-year ministry, I’ve learned to live with it. Jesus said, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you,” and I got that “woe” off my back many years ago. Now that I’m retired I seldom respond to mean-spirited communication. Why reward bad behavior? Why prolong the pain? Jesus often ignored objections. “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:3).

However, I am perplexed as to why Christians write such mean-spirited notes. Granted, we are dealing with issues that are eternally important and intensely emotional. However, we’re supposed to be distinctive from the world. There’s an old slogan that suggests we should “disagree without being disagreeable.” When you are at odds with a fellow believer, before pounding out a vicious email or confronting in anger, perhaps it would be helpful to review the following passages of Scripture: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1 ).

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11).

“The fruit of the Spirit is …gentleness” (Galatians 5:22-23).

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently” (Galatians 6:1).

“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other” (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

He who has ears to hear, let him hear. And he who has a computer to type, let him use a little discretion.

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