In the first of this three-part series, I expressed concern about the spiritual defection of many youths who grew up in the church. Christian parents and grandparents grieve over children who no longer share their Biblical values. They are not only troubled about their child’s salvation, but the opposing worldviews hinder meaningful relationships. As a result, parents can no longer talk with children about life’s most critical issues without tension or being accused of “nagging.”
In next week’s post, I will suggest some ways to respond to prodigals and how parents can avoid making the same mistake with the next generation. However, in this post, I will offer some reasons why so many are forsaking the faith. The first step to correcting a problem is to identify the problem. The second step is to determine the cause. Until a disease is diagnosed correctly, it is difficult to prescribe an effective cure.
Parents are partially to blame. Proverbs 22:6 assures us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (King James Version).The second half of that verse is more of a guiding principle rather than an absolute promise. It is not uncommon for two children to grow up in the same home, and one remains loyal to the Lord whilethe other grows spiritually defiant. Same parents, same upbringing, but dramatically different outcomes. When children are properly guided, they are likely to remain faithful to the Lord, but not always.
When a child rebels, most Christian parents overstate their own failures and ruminate over what went wrong. “We should have been more consistent, more intentional, more tolerant, or more strict.” Perhaps so. Yet even the best parents make mistakes.
Perhaps parents’ most common and egregious blunder is to relegate the training of Biblical values to others. The Scripture instructs parents to teach God’s word to their children. “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:7).
Biblical training is meant to be a daily priority backed up with a positive parental example, not merely thirty-minute sessions at church once per week.
The church is partially to blame as well. While many churches are doing great things to reach the lost, many others are so focused on reaching the “seeker” that they have neglected to train children to survive in an increasingly spiritually hostile environment. Many church youth programs are designed to entertain or “keep attention” rather than teaching and applying Scripture. The Bible says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” yet out of concern for the seeker, there is rarely discussion of the penalty of sin or Hell. As a result, we have raised a generation with “No fear of God before their eyes” (Psalm 36:1 & Romans 3:18).
The strong influence of the secular culture is also to blame. Today’s youth are bombarded with a secular worldview. Education, news, entertainment, and advertising all promote a hedonistic philosophy where contemporary thought is deemed more relevant than the Bible. Furthermore, secular culture conditions younger generations to believe they are smarter and more advanced than their parents and grandparents, which C.S. Lewis labeled as “Chronological snobbery.” They are convinced they have nothing to learn from previous generations. The Bible teaches us to honor our parents, respect the wisdom of the elderly, and learn from history. Yet many within the younger generation scoff at the wisdom of older authority figures
We should not be shocked when our teenagers scoff at the belief that God created the world or that sex is reserved for marriage only. Those convictions were nearly universal years ago, yet now they seem archaic and even hateful to the child’s reprogrammed mind. Our children are conditioned by the adversary to instinctively reject the idea of divinely revealed, absolute truth.
The sinful nature of every child is mostly to blame. It is not easy for parents to accept that no matter how compliant or spiritual their child appears, everyone has a sinful nature that gravitates to carnality, conformity,and indifference. Jesus said, “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed” (John 3:19-20).
The Bible says that Satan “invents ways of doing evil.” He skillfully entices good kids with exciting but lethal temptations, and many over-trusting parents are oblivious to it.
Prodigals often claim intellectual doubt, yet the primary source of their doubt is not cerebral. It is moral. They first yield to the intoxicating temptations of the flesh and then seek to justify their immoral behavior with accusations against God. Jesus warned in the last days, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” (Matthew 24:12).
Godly parents express frustration that nothing seems to work, no matter how much apologetic evidence they offer to counter their child’s unbelief. That is mainly because it is not really a rational issue for the prodigal.Rather, it is a heart issue. As social theorist Stuart Chase put it, “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.”
Family arguments end in a stalemate because “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit” (1 Corinthians 2:14).
What is most needed is a conviction about their spiritual rebellion and to repent of their sin. Jesus’ first message was: “Repent and believe the good news.” (Mark 1:15). And, “…unless you repent, you too will all perish” (Luke 13:3). So how can we soften hard hearts and facilitate genuine repentance? That does not come easily. I will suggest some courses of action next week in the final post of this series.
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4).
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