Not long ago, the wife of a preacher friend of mine shocked her husband, her family, and her church when she filed for a divorce. She and her husband had been married for more than 45 years! But she decided to call it quits, explaining she no longer loved him and had become romantically involved with a widower she met on Facebook. That new infatuation brought her so much happiness that no amount of pleading by her husband, her children, or her devastated grandchildren could dissuade her from getting a divorce.

“’The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful” (Malachi 2:16). The New American Standard Bible translates that first phrase, “’I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel.”

Let’s admit at the outset of this controversial and emotional topic that there are complex circumstances, and God can forgive any sin. The woman at the well had been divorced five times, but Jesus treated her with respect, forgave her, and welcomed her testimony. You can’t go back and unscramble eggs. You can’t undo your mistakes. If you have been through a divorce, please know Christ can forgive you and give you a fresh start. Receive His pardon and proceed to live for Him.

However, what concerns me are not those who have been divorced and have genuinely sought God’s forgiveness, but married persons who call themselves Christians and imagine they can exploit God’s grace. I hear believers say, “I know the Bible says, ‘Don’t divorce,’ but God wants me to be happy.”  Or “God and I talked this over, and I’m at peace.”  Or, “God will forgive me; that’s His job. He understands.”

It’s disturbing to hear such cavalier attitudes toward the marriage vows and to witness so many divorces within the body of Christ. Churches teach marriage is a permanent covenant with God and provide weeks of premarital instruction. Yet it’s heartrending to see couples break up after only one or two years of marriage. It’s even more devastating to learn of lifelong Christians who have been married for decades, filing for divorce, insisting, “I just don’t love my mate anymore.”  It’s as though they’ve never known Christ.

Brothers and sisters, this should not be! Hebrews 10:26-27 warns, “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.”  God can’t do any more for us than He has already done, nor can His warning be any clearer or sobering.

Why is it so important that marriage be regarded as a permanent covenant?

To eliminate the “escape” mentality
One of the reasons God’s Word says divorce is not an option is if you think there’s an escape, you’ll take it when the going gets tough. Or, when the chemistry flows between you and another, you’ll entertain the options instead of resisting the temptation. There’s a big difference between a person who says, “My mate and I are having serious trouble, and if it doesn’t get any better, I’m going to file for divorce,” and a person who says, “My mate and I are having trouble, but since I’m going to live with this person the rest of my life, we had better work this out, or my life is going to be miserable.”

To provide a secure environment for children
God hates divorce because of how harmful it is to the children in the family. One couple in their 80’s who had been married for over 50 years were asked why they got a divorce, and they explained, “To be honest, we never did get along, but we didn’t want to hurt our kids, so we waited until they died!”  That’s a semi-humorous story, but the real-life long-term negative impact of divorce on children has been well documented and is not funny but tragic. God loves little children, and He wants them to have the security and protection of a permanent, compassionate marriage.

To protect us from ongoing pain
Another reason God hates divorce is that it grieves Him to see the people He loves go through so much prolonged misery. Initially, divorce seems simple and swift. But in the long run, it’s complicated and ongoing.

Couples who have experienced a divorce almost always say, “It was so much more painful and prolonged than I thought it would be. I had no idea how it would hurt my parents, my children, and my friends or how it would impact my entire life. Tell people who are struggling to do everything they can to make it work.”

To demonstrate God’s faithfulness to us
The Apostle Paul wrote, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31-32).

A Christian marriage is a mysterious but tangible testimony to the world that God loves us regardless of our imperfections. He is faithful to us despite our faults. He has made a covenant with us never to leave us or forsake us. So, when Christian marriages fail, it’s a big deal. God’s visible symbol has been tarnished.

To experience the joy of perseverance
The people who have been married for 35 years or more almost always say the same thing, “We went through some rocky times. Sometimes I didn’t like my mate much. But we’re so thankful we stuck it out. We love each other now, and we have a relationship with our children, our grandchildren, and our God that makes it worth it all.”

If you are in a struggling marriage, I beg you to take God seriously. You’re in a spiritual battle for your soul and the souls of your family. The Lord didn’t call you to be happy; He called you to be obedient. Stick it out! In the end, you’ll be blessed, and you’ll be thankful you did.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12).

.

Follow BobRussellKY on Twitter and LIKE the Bob Russell page on Facebook