“Johnny decided he doesn’t want to play football this year.” When my son shared this with me about my grandson last year, I was very disappointed. Johnny was entering high school and had been playing Pop Warner Youth Football in Florida since he was nine years old. Yet, now, before his freshman year, he decides to quit?
High school football is big in Florida. And Johnny was built for football. Fortunately, he didn’t inherit the Russell short-gene and typical small frame. As a freshman, he was approaching six feet tall and weighed well over 200 pounds. He was being groomed as an offensive lineman for his local high school of 2,000 students. Their team was projected to be one of the best in the state. The coaches looked forward to him playing for them, even suggesting he had the potential to win a college scholarship.
As a proud grandfather, I looked forward to attending some of Johnny’s games and watching others online. His brother Tommy, who was much smaller, had played and became a starter in his senior year. Johnny’s dad, a preacher, is currently serving as a volunteer assistant coach with the team. Since I really like football, it upset me to hear, “Johnny doesn’t want to play football this year.”
I asked my son, “Did you talk to him and try to persuade him that he’s making a big mistake?” Rusty assured me, “His mother and I both have talked to him, and the coaches have talked to him. But he insists he just doesn’t want to play, and we don’t think we should force him.” I thought to myself, “He’ll just sit around and play video games and waste away his high school years. How tragic!”
In the weeks that followed, when I was able to visit with Johnny, I instinctively wanted to pressure him to rejoin the team. I was tempted to make sarcastic remarks when I saw him sitting on the couch, focused on his phone. I was tempted to go out of my way to praise the courage of his brother and his cousins, who were playing football even though they didn’t have Johnny’s size.
A few decades ago, I would have made it a point to have a heart-to-heart talk with my uncooperative grandson or maybe written him a letter listing all the benefits of playing football. And there are indeed some lessons to be learned from involvement in athletics that can’t be learned elsewhere. But over the years, I’ve observed how God has gifted His people differently. And slowly, I’ve learned some Scriptural principles about restraining the tongue and speaking encouraging words that build others up instead of tearing them down.
Proverbs 22:6 reads, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” Charles Swindoll points out that we usually interpret that verse to mean: if we train children in the Scripture, they will remain faithful to it. But since people are wired differently from birth, that verse has another application. Discover how your children are gifted, be observant about their innate, positive predispositions, and start early to encourage them to use those gifts while providing resources that enable and develop them. Then they will be blessed by their talents and enjoy them all their lives.
Though it was a struggle, I managed to keep my mouth shut about sports and waited to see how Johnny would do. I noticed that he was learning to play the piano and teaching himself to play the guitar in his spare time. He listened to a lot of music on his headphones. He joined the teen worship band at church.
Last week, Judy and I had the opportunity to visit Rusty, his wife Kellie, and Johnny, the youngest of four children, and still living at home. I overheard Johnny in an animated discussion with his mother about music theory and listened to his insightful evaluation of their church’s praise band and worship team. He was talking way over my head about music theory. I couldn’t relate since I have little music appreciation in my blood, but he obviously does.
Since his dad is still helping with the local football team, on Friday night, the three of us went to the High School game that featured many of Johnny’s teammates from his Pop Warner days. Johnny had volunteered to video record the games, so he spent the evening on the roof of the press box filming. After the game, while we waited for Johnny to pack up the video equipment and lug it across the field, Rusty and I sat in the car discussing the game. When Johnny finally got in the car, his first comments were about the opposing team’s band. It seems the trumpets were out of tune and the drummer’s timing was off.
You see, God didn’t wire Johnny Russell for football. Inside that huge body is a passion, an inner soul for music. Two nights later, there was a sad funeral at Rusty’s church. A popular teenage boy had been tragically killed in a camping accident. Over 400 people were in attendance, many of them teenagers. Johnny had been asked to play the keyboard for the funeral service. I watched online, and it seemed to me he did an exceptional job.
When he returned home, I complimented him on performing so well in front of all those people. Johnny’s countenance lit up, and he began chattering about the evening. “Pop, I was so nervous! Thankfully, I didn’t make any mistakes when I was playing by myself, but I messed up a few times when the whole band was playing, so I don’t think anyone noticed.” He excitedly went into great detail about what the evening was like, and it reminded me of similar conversations I’ve had with my other grandsons as they recall their football games. I could tell our discussion uplifted him, and he appreciated my encouragement.
And you know what? I’m really proud of Johnny Russell and enjoy him. He’s a big boy with a big personality and a lot of leadership potential, which God can use mightily in the future. I’m glad I didn’t pester him for not playing football. Evidently, he knew best. Besides, I don’t know many 50-year old musicians who limp from injuries they experienced from playing the keyboard in their teenage years. Do you?
“Point your kids in the right direction — when they’re old they won’t be lost” (Proverbs 22:6 THE MESSAGE).
.
Follow BobRussellKY on Twitter and LIKE the Bob Russell page on Facebook
