Dave Kennedy died suddenly of a stroke last week. Dave was my best friend in ministry for the past 50 years. There are those who are casual friends, those who are close friends, and those who are intimate friends. Dave Kennedy was an intimate friend of mine. Charles Swindoll suggests that if you have two or three intimate friends in your lifetime, you are blessed, because some go through life and don’t have any. 

We usually don’t choose someone to be our intimate friend. That type of in-depth relationship happens naturally over time. Those extraordinary companions are people with whom there is such a blending of temperaments, convictions, and experiences that they become your soul mate. Intimate friends know enough about you to ruin you, but they don’t dare because you know enough about them to ruin them!

Pastor Richard Exley described them, “Someone to be with when you have to get away, but you can’t bear to be by yourself. Friends who provide a safe place in a demanding world. A place where you can let your hair down and be yourself, a place where you don’t have to weigh every word. You can share your dreams without fear of being put down…. You can even share your fears without risk to the relationship.”

Dave Kennedy and I had that kind of friendship for a long time. When we were both in our late twenties 20’s Dave became the minister of a church in Louisville, Kentucky, the same city where I was preaching. During a weekly pastor’s meeting, we got the idea of preaching a series of four pre-Easter sermons together. We discovered we thought alike and preached using a similar structure, so, after the Easter series, we decided to do it routinely. We would telephone on Mondays to develop the basic ideas and then meet for lunch on Thursdays. I would read one set of commentaries, and he would read another. I would read Time Magazine. He would read Newsweek. We shared outlines, illustrations, quotes, and applications. The collaboration significantly enhanced our preaching.

Bob Russell and Dave Kennedy (far right) golfing with friend, Russ Summay.

That weekly study continued for thirty 30 years and led to an extremely close friendship. After our sermon preparation time, one of us might say, “Got a minute? I want to ask your advice about ….” And then we would relate a church problem or a family issue. Frequently we would talk about sports or brag about our kid’s accomplishments.

The Bible says Jesus was full of grace and truth. Those were the two qualities I admired most about Dave Kennedy. He didn’t hesitate to tell me the truth, even though, at times, I didn’t want to hear it. “You’re getting too political.” “That’s not your strength.” “That story is too old; don’t use it.” “You’re no longer the preacher – stay out of it!” “They’re doing pretty well without you.”  

He was also sympathetic. Dave had substantial mercy gifts probably because he had been through some challenging experiences himself. The Bible says, “God… comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). Dave was a great counselor because he had often been comforted in his own pain.

The last time I was with him was two weeks ago when we played golf together. I was deeply troubled because my grandson was on life-support in a Nashville hospital. On the sixth hole, I got a text that Charlie had developed additional complications that morning. After nine holes, I said, “Dave, I’m going to quit.” I didn’t explain why because I knew I didn’t have to. That evening Dave sent me the following text:

“I have no idea how hard this time is for you. A golf game is only a game. I’m glad you came, but you know you can always leave when you need to. Still praying for Charlie.”

I answered, “Thanks. Sorry I was so distracted yesterday. We haven’t been getting much positive news about Charlie, and I’m not very good at suffering. (Not had much experience!) If you weren’t such a good friend, I probably would have gutted it out yesterday but knew you’d be patient and understanding. Your friendship over the years means a lot. Thanks. Please keep praying for Charlie….….and me.

Dave responded, “I prayed this morning for both of you. 

Your friendship over the years has meant more than you can imagine. None of us is good with suffering. Somehow I believe that God will be glorified. All we can do is pray and wait. And we will do that.”

“And we will do that” was a wonderful phrase challenging me with my responsibility to be faithful and reminding me he was suffering with me. Dave’s balance of truth and grace was a huge source of comfort and strength to me that day. And I’m thankful Charlie has made significant improvement since then.

When his intimate friend Jonathan was killed in battle, David grieved. He rent his clothing, mourned, wept, and fasted because Jonathan had fallen by the sword. (See 2 Samuel 1:11-12.) When I got the news that Dave Kennedy had a severe stroke and was not expected to live, I cried out, “‘Oh, no!” It was as if someone punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me. I went to the hospital and couldn’t get in. It was really frustrating not to be near him.

I grieve Dave Kennedy’s passing. But I guess if we were going to choose a manner of death, Dave’s experience would be ideal. His death was sudden, apparently without pain. One minute he was sitting with his wife at the supper table, the next unconscious. Within a few hours, he was sitting with the Lord at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Yet, it is tough on those left behind because we didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.

I was honored to preach at Dave’s funeral, but it was a very emotionally difficult experience for me. He was the best at preaching funerals, so I closed by duplicating how he often concluded his funeral messages. “If you know the Lord, you can take comfort in the fact that you will see Dave Kennedy again in heaven. But if you don’t know the Lord, you need to say your final goodbye today because you won’t see him again. You will die “without God and without hope in the world.” But that can be changed today by putting your trust in Jesus and claiming His promise, “Whoever believes and is baptized shall be saved. Whoever does not believe will be condemned.” Why not humble yourself today, accept Him as Savior and Lord, and lay hold of His promise: “I am the resurrection, and the life, whoever believes in me will live even though he dies”?

So long, good friend. See you at the house! In the meantime, I am thankful that through it all, “…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

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