One New Year’s Day, when my sons were little, I overheard my wife on the phone say, “Sure, come on over and see us! We’d love to have you!” She hung up and informed me that a family from our church that recently moved away was visiting in town and stopping by to see us for a few minutes.
“Oh, no!” I whined. “I just want to relax, watch football, and be with my family today!” I explained that I had worked all day at church the previous day and was tired of talking to people. I then added, “That woman is a big talker! They’ll be here for hours!”
When the couple arrived half an hour later, we had a great visit. They stayed for just 45 minutes, explaining they had additional families to visit. We had a wonderful time of fellowship, so as they left, I told them, “Thanks for stopping by. We really enjoyed having you!”
After I shut the door and headed to the family room to watch football, my 10-year-old son quipped, “Dad, you hypocrite!”
Naturally, I was upset with him and demanded, “Why would you say something like that? What do you mean I’m a hypocrite?”
He answered, “You told mom you didn’t want company, and then you told them you were glad they came.”
I feebly tried to explain that I had changed my mind, but I don’t think he fully understood. (You can watch my son Rusty’s depiction of this story during his recent Father’s Day sermon at the end of this post .)
That incident made me keenly aware of how carefully children scrutinize their father’s behavior. They want to know if their parents’ everyday actions are consistent with their beliefs.
Dads, your children are listening when you say over the phone, “Sorry she’s not here,” when she is in the next room.
They are listening when you talk at the dinner table about the co-worker who is having an affair with the supervisor, and then you giggle about it.
They listen when you curse or make a racial slur against a driver who cuts in front of you.
They observe your intake of alcohol and how it negatively affects your patience and personality.
They notice whether you treat their mother with thoughtfulness or with neglect.
They are learning when you help them with their homework and finally say, ”Just let me do it for you. There is a deadline tomorrow, and I’m tired.”
They see how upset you become when you’re cheated out of money or your favorite possession is damaged.
They are aware of the kind of television programs and videos you watch.
They hear you say, “Jesus comes first,” but see you choose sports or weekends at the lake over attending church.
How you act has a far greater impact on your children than sporadic church attendance or a few minutes of prayer at a meal.
Poet Edgar Guest expressed it well in the famous poem, “Sermons We See”:
I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear;
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.
I soon can learn to do it if you’ll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I’d rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there’s no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Rusty’s depiction of New Year’s Day story
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