Occasionally people ask my opinion on various personal or church issues. I recently received the following question which I have reprinted below, followed by my response.
QUESTION
Bob,
I am an elder in a small Christian Church (about 100 in attendance). We recently experienced a situation involving our youth director. (He is a volunteer, not a paid minister). He was working in a job outside the church, and he stole $100.00 from his employer, was caught and fired. He immediately contacted our Pastor and informed him. Our Pastor contacted the elders for a meeting to discuss what to do about this situation.
There were six of us in the meeting. My suggestion was to terminate his leadership role immediately and hope he would continue to attend our Church and we would love him and help him as we could, but he should not be leading our youth. I was “shot down” by one elder in particular but not supported by the others either. The elders seemed to feel we should keep this quiet and keep a close watchful eye on him and let him continue in the leadership capacity. We have not informed anyone of this.
A little back story to this is that we had a Church custodian who was living with her boyfriend and we terminated her solely due to her living arrangement. She attends our church still. While I do not disagree with that action, I strongly disagree with the non-action taken with the youth director. While both situations are sinful, only one is illegal – that is the one involving theft.
If possible, please provide me some input on this current situation. I have considered resigning as an elder because of this and even thought of leaving my church. While I am not free of all sin myself, I think things should have been dealt with differently. I am very “conflicted” on this issue.
MY ANSWER
I am sorry your church is experiencing problems – but every church does! One Christian cynic suggested, ‘The church is like Noah’s Ark. If it weren’t for the STORM on the outside, we couldn’t stand the stench on the inside!” Let’s remember the church is made up of imperfect people who seek to follow a perfect Christ.
However, I do agree with you that church leadership demands a higher standard. For example, 2 Timothy 5:20 suggests if an elder stumbles he is to be rebuked publicly “so others will take warning.” While we can forgive someone who falls and pray they can be restored to a leadership role someday, there are consequences for leaders who make serious mistakes. In my mind, stealing any amount of money reveals a character flaw that disqualifies a man from leading for a significant period of time- especially SHEPHERDING youth.
The guy who leads your church youth group has a very influential position. Since he was caught stealing $100 at his place of employment, you can’t help but wonder if there have been other incidents when he was not caught. Usually, that’s the case.
In my opinion, he should certainly be forgiven and nursed back to spiritual health. But in the meantime, he should not be leading youth. Even one incident of theft reveals a serious heart problem – regardless of the amount. The fact that he was caught and fired from his job makes it hard for me to believe this incident will be kept quiet for long. Parents and church members will probably find out eventually and then question the inaction of the elders.
If I were in your situation, I would not resign from eldership or change churches over this one disagreement. Your elders have attempted to practice discipline in other matters in the past, and that’s a healthy sign. I would continue to serve as an elder, be cooperative and allow God’s will to prevail. Chances are the truth will surface in time, and as a result, you will gain respect for your stance. Regardless, it seems to me this is an occasion for you to practice ongoing patience and quiet forgiveness.
The Bible says we are to “Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit” (Ephesians 4:3). Therefore, church members should leave leadership assignments or resign membership only after fervent prayer and in-depth conversation. However, if there are additional, serious disagreements in the future, you may then want to reevaluate your leadership role as well as your church involvement.
God bless!
– Bob
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