Occasionally people ask my opinion on various personal or church issues. I recently received the following question which I have reprinted below, followed by my response.

QUESTION

Dear Bob,

My grandson is 11 years old. His beloved dog died recently, and he is very concerned about whether he will one day see his pet in heaven. We’ve told him that his best friend is in heaven; however, a Bible teacher has told him that it isn’t true. We would be very appreciative if we could have your thoughts. This has been very upsetting for our grandson, and we’re at a loss for words. 

Thank you.

MY ANSWER

Since the Bible doesn’t specifically teach that animals have souls that go to heaven when they die, I try to avoid saying, “Your pet is in heaven.” We don’t have that assurance.  However, the Bible does hint that there will be animals in God’s perfect kingdom. For example, Isaiah prophesied a day when, “The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them” (Isaiah 11:6).

If that’s literal and there will be tame lions and wolves along with goats and lambs in the coming kingdom, we can assume there will also be dogs and cats and horses in eternity.  So we can say to children who are heartbroken over the loss of a pet, “When we get to heaven, there will be animals there, and God will thrill you with pets and friends beyond your wildest dreams.  The Bible says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Cor. 2:9).

However, it’s important for parents and grandparents to remember that we can’t protect our children from all the harsh realities of life. In fact, we shouldn’t try. That’s part of growing up. Jesus said, “In this world will have trouble” (John 16:33). It can actually be beneficial to their future well being for children to grieve over the loss of a pet. Kids who grow up shielded from all heartbreak and pain have a hard time coping with the realities of life later.

I’m reading a new, secular book that makes this point well. It’s titled, The Coddling of the American Mind – How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation For Failure. The authors, Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt, suggest modern parents and educators are taking extreme measures to make everything safe; as a result, kids grow up unable to cope with the harsh realities of life.

The authors write, “If we protect children from various classes of potentially upsetting experiences, we make it far more likely that those children will be unable to cope with such events when they leave our protective umbrella. The modern obsession with protecting people from ‘feeling unsafe’ is, we believe, one of the (several) causes of the rapid rise in rates of adolescent depression, anxiety, and suicide.”

The main focus of the book is not on helicopter parenting but the fixation of college administrators with “Safetyism” avoiding student exposure to any ideas or experiences that make them feel uncomfortable. The book suggests Safetyism amplifies children’s fears and makes them less likely to become mature adults capable of coping with life’s inevitable challenges. They say students need to be exposed to some unpleasant stress and a few offensive beliefs in order to grow to maturity.

Remember the Bible says, There is a “time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Eccles. 3:4). While we want to shield children from all pain, the grieving over a pet is, in the long run, a maturing experience. Your grandson probably won’t be helped as much by your words as he will be by your presence and your faith. And as you already know, kids have an amazing capacity to bounce back quickly.

God bless!

– Bob

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