Mother’s Day kind of puts dads on the spot. What exactly is a husband supposed to do for the mother of his children on the second Sunday in May?

The kids may be too young to buy Mom a gift. Even if they’re old enough to express appreciation, Dad still feels the pressure to make the day special. Most husbands know they should do something thoughtful, but many of us aren’t exactly creative. Usually, we wind up giving her a sweet card and taking her out to eat—and she’s grateful for that.

Of course, every mother enjoys being pampered on Mother’s Day. But I’ve learned over the years that what most moms really want from their husbands is something more than flowers, chocolates, and a break from cooking. They want a caring husband who shows respect, love, and support all year long.

Here are some things mothers appreciate from their husbands:

A dad who is present

One of the greatest challenges facing many homes today is an absent father. Sometimes he’s absent physically. Other times he’s home but distracted—consumed by work, hobbies, television, or his phone.

The dependable presence of a godly father gives children security and makes life much easier for Mom.

My good friend John Foster was an excellent golfer, but gave up the sport for nearly twenty years because he wanted to be home more with his young family. His job was already very demanding, so he decided there would be plenty of time for golf once his children had grown. His wife Doris was forever grateful for his regular presence in the home.

A dad who teaches his children to respect their mother

Author Larry Christenson related a story from when he was a boy. One day his mother insisted he clean up his room immediately. When she left, Larry muttered, “You’re a big dummy!” What he didn’t know was that his dad had just walked into the room behind him.

Suddenly he felt the strong arm of his father lifting him off the floor by the collar. He found himself staring eyeball to eyeball with his dad, who glared at him and demanded, “Who’s a big dummy?”

Christenson blurted out, “I’m a big dummy! I’m a big dummy!”

He later said his retreat into self-incrimination salted the moment with enough humor to save him from a spanking, but he never forgot the lesson. If he disrespected his mother, he incurred the wrath of his father. Behind her instructions stood the strong arm of his dad.

“May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!” (Proverbs 23:25)

Children who respect the authority of their mother make her life so much easier and more joyful.

A dad who shows his children how a husband should love his wife

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

Jesus openly demonstrated His love by sacrificing His life for the church.

My dad would never leave home without kissing my mother goodbye. Sometimes when he would drive us to a ball game or band practice, he would abruptly stop the car in the driveway and say, “Oops! Forgot something!” Then he’d run back into the house to kiss my mother and be back in thirty seconds.

My siblings and I would tease my dad about that, but deep down it gave us a sense of security to see him treat her as special.

We loved it when we saw my mom and dad holding hands and heading out for a walk together on Sunday afternoon. One of us would ask, “Can we go with you?”

My mother would reply, “Nope! This is time just for your dad and me.”

My parents’ open love for one another gave stability to our home.

A dad who helps around the house

Mom loves it when Dad helps set the table or takes the dishes to the sink and rinses them off for the dishwasher after the meal. Her heart is warmed when he volunteers to change a diaper or carry the baby for her.

Dad, occasionally help fold the clothes and straighten up after a big get-together. Don’t be too proud to run the sweeper or take out the garbage without being asked.

And every now and then, surprise your wife with an afternoon phone call letting her know you’re stopping on the way home to provide supper. That’s a real Mother’s Day gift.

A dad who leads spiritually

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

The Bible commands the father to set the spiritual tone in the home.

So dad, you want to help honor the mother of your children on Mother’s Day? Take the initiative to pray before meals. Encourage church attendance. Read Scripture with your children. Pray with them at bedtime. Talk naturally about Jesus in everyday life. Join hands with your wife and pray together before you fall asleep.

And if you want to do something really meaningful for your wife this Mother’s Day, try this:

Write her a tender note promising that starting today—with God’s help—you’ll become a better husband and father in order to honor her 365 days a year.

Then follow through.

That will likely mean far more to her than flowers, candy, or one day away from the kitchen.