I was born with a bad temper. My mother recounted that when I was a toddler, if I did not get my way, I would throw a temper tantrum and cry until I was red in the face. Sometimes I would scream so hard and hold my breath for so long that she thought I would pass out. Yet my wise mom refused to yield to my carnal nature, so I slowly learned that throwing a temper tantrum was not in my best interest. Indeed, my mother’s discipline was the most loving thing she could do for me in those circumstances.
I have battled a lousy temper all my life. When I was playing basketball for a Christian College, I once got two technical fouls in the first half of a game against Tennessee Temple, a Baptist college in Chattanooga. I had been so feisty and obnoxious that at halftime, an opposing fan grabbed me by the arm and asked, “Buddy, are you saved?” He could not understand how I could be a follower of Christ and be such a hothead! He had a point!
I am now 78 years old and do a much better job controlling my temper. Yet honestly, it is still a struggle. Over the years, I have worked to restrain my indignation because the Scripture teaches me to “deny self” and “be slow to anger.” Over time I’ve learned to bring my carnal nature under the subjection of the Holy Spirit, but I smile a little when someone says, “You seem so calm; I have a hard time believing you ever had a temper.”
Mark Twain once said, “We’re all like the moon…we’ve got a dark side.” Most of us struggle with many diverse temptations. The demons you battle may be markedly different from mine. Instead of wrestling with temper, you may struggle with the opposite weakness, being too passive. You hate conflict so much that you compromise your convictions and refuse to take a stand on anything. That passive spirit may be your lifelong character flaw. Instead of criticizing you, others may compliment you for being a peacemaker. Yet deep down, you know you are not really a peacemaker — you wrestle with cowardice.
Former President Donald Trump has a dark side. While he has many strengths, many supporters and critics agree that he battles pride. Instead of restraining his arrogance, President Trump is inclined to express his feelings freely and rudely in tweets and speeches. While serving as president, Trump usually disregarded the counsel of advisors, simply writing and saying what he felt regardless of the consequences. Some praise him for his candor, but his unrestrained, abrasive actions probably cost him a second term.
Ever since Adam and Eve introduced sin into the world, we all inherited a carnal nature. Our weaknesses vary, yet we all have them: selfishness, greed, gluttony, lust, alcoholism, addictions, laziness…the list goes on. Admittedly, some temptations are more intense than others, and some sins are more lethal than others. When the pedophile or the rapist pleads for mercy, explaining, “That’s just my nature; I can’t help it,” we may pity them, but most would agree that their dark side needs restraint, not endorsement.
What if everyone just did what they felt like doing and rationalized, “That’s just how God made me”? Would we excuse marital affairs, road rage, child abuse, shoplifting, laziness, incivility, indecent exposure, drug addictions, and mob violence simply because someone claimed, ”That’s just who I am”? Of course not. Our world would be even more chaotic than it is now. Since we live in a crowded community, there is a need for self-restraint and personal responsibility. One of the hallmarks of maturity is self-discipline.
Therefore, it is not hateful for a Godly mother to encourage her child to control his temper. It is not unreasonable for a police officer to give a ticket to a reckless teenager who is just expressing a “free spirit’ while driving. It is not unloving for a coach to chastise passive athletes to motivate them to reach maximum potential. And it is not deplorable for a Christian school to teach students to respect the Biblical guidelines for a marriage. It is wise, compassionate leadership.
That is why Jesus instructed His followers, “If anyone wants to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). That is why the Apostle John wrote those who follow Christ are not to succumb to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, or the pride of life (See 1 John 2:16). That is why Simon Peter admonished his readers to abstain from the evil desires that war against the soul (See 1 Peter 2:11).
Genuine followers of Christ understand we are not free to live as we please. The Bible instructs us, “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit” (Galatians 5:19-25).
In this post-Christian culture, those who dare repeat the Scriptural need for repentance from sin and the discipline of carnal desires are sometimes branded as haters. Such was the case recently for the Christian Academy of Louisville when some within the community expressed outrage over an assignment requiring middle-school students “to lovingly and compassionately speak truth” to a friend who may be struggling with homosexuality “in a way that does not approve of any sin.” In an article for World Magazine, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary President Dr. R. Albert Mohler defended the school and the assignment as in line with what has been taught by the Christian Church for 2000 years. Dr. Mohler said that those who object to CAL’s position “are demanding the school abandon Christian conviction to teach a Christian worldview that would repudiate Biblical truth and 2000 years of Christian moral teaching. That’s all.” Dr. Mohler further warns that “Every institution built upon the Word of God will soon face this test.”
Author and musician Derric Johnson wrote, “Love sounds like hate, to those who hate the truth.” My mother didn’t hate me when she tried to discipline my temper. Instead, she loved me and wanted the best for my future. Today I’m thankful for her because “… Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).
“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
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