Years ago, Gary Smalley wrote a best-selling book titled “The Blessing.” He stated, “No matter what our age, our parents’ approval affects how we view ourselves—and how we act with those we love most.” Many people spend a lifetime seeking this acceptance, which the Bible refers to as “The Blessing.”
Smalley’s classic is one of my wife’s favorites, and she insisted I read it even though our boys were nearly grown at the time. The book encourages Christian fathers to be intentional about passing along a spiritual blessing to their children and provides five practical suggestions on how to do this.
- A Meaningful Touch: When the prodigal son returned home, his father “…threw his arms around him and kissed him.” We can communicate love with warm hugs, butterfly kisses, playful wrestling, and an arm around the shoulder.
- Verbal Affirmation: We pass along a blessing with genuine compliments and words of approval. Children long for their dads to say, “I’m proud of you,” “I believe in you,” “Well done!” and “I love you.” Positive affirmation is a powerful motivator for good. I’ll never forget my dad saying to me, “That was one of the best sermons I’ve ever heard!” I was thirty years old at the time. Solomon wrote, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Prov. 25:11 KJV).
- Attaching High Value: To bless means to honor. We honor our children by letting them know they are the most important people in our lives. We take time for them. We look them in the eye and listen to them. Maybe you spend money you don’t have yet for their education and developmental needs. They know they can call us anytime, and we will answer the phone. We display trust in them by giving them significant tasks and occasionally sharing family secrets.
- Picturing a Special Future: In Genesis 49, the patriarch Jacob pronounces a blessing on each of his twelve sons. Although he’s sincere, Jacob gives them a vision of their potential. We can bless our children by identifying their gifts and imagining what they can accomplish with God’s help. “You’re really good with people; you would make a good nurse, coach, or preacher someday.” “You want to be a police officer? That takes a lot of courage and a sense of justice. I’ll bet you’d be a good one!” “The way you love animals, maybe you ought to think of being a veterinarian.” “Have you noticed how other kids follow you? You have leadership gifts that the Lord can use.” We intentionally remind them that God has a special role for them in His kingdom.
- Active Commitment: It’s not enough to speak encouraging words; parents need to be willing to be involved in their children’s lives. Take time to read a Bible story and pray with them at bedtime. Sacrifice and attend their games, recitals, and school activities. Be there at mealtime. Take family vacations just with them. They may not notice now, but one day, they will rise up and call you blessed.
One of the most memorable Father’s Day gifts I ever received was a framed picture of me carrying my son Phil on my shoulders when he was young. Opposite that picture is another of him carrying his son Andy on his shoulders. The inscription reads, “Even though as an adult son there have been times when you’ve had to carry me, I am so thankful you continued to reach out your arms and provide the same loving embrace. I assure you the lessons you have imparted to me will be passed on to the next generation.”
The message he wrote for me was about as good as it gets for a dad. I am so thankful for both of my sons, who have been a great blessing!
Happy Father’s Day!
